Chapter 112 " May I come in ? " she asks . I open the door and hold up my drink , offering her one . " Yes , thank you . " She stands there , watching me while I pour her drink . When I hand it to her , I finally look at her and see the confusion on her face . " Have I done something to offend you , Sebastian ? Have I done something wrong ? " "No , Christina . You haven't done anything wrong , " I say , turning away from her . " In fact , you've done everything perfectly .

" I stare out the window , seeing her reflection in the glass as she watches . me . " I don't understand , " she says softly . I turn and look at her . " I feel like I'm cheating on my mate , " I tell her honestly . She frowns . " Your mate ? " " Yes . Suzanne . My dead mate . I feel like I'm cheating on her . " " Because you're my partner in the sex class , " she says , as if still trying to make sure she understands . " No , well yes , but that shouldn't have been a problem .

It's not like I haven't been with women since Suzanne died . I'm not a eunuch , " I say , sighing and shooting the rest of this drink down before throwing myself onto the couch and putting my head in my hands . I hear her put down her drink and then feel the couch shift beside me . I turn and look at her , watching her frown at whatever she sees on my face . " Sex with you , sex with anyone , shouldn't be better than it was with my fated mate .

But it is and I don't know how to reconcile that within myself . I told you I feel a pull to you . That was already unexpected and probably what is making our time together so incredible . But you're perfect and I don't know how to resolve what now feels like . imperfections in my mate . That's making me feel like a terrible man , like maybe I was never a good enough mate to her to begin with , " I say , my voice getting thick with emotion . She begins rubbing her hand over my back .

" We can stop , Sebastian … " I shake my head before she finishes . " No. I promised you that I would help you in any way possible . " " Sebastian … " " I just need some time to figure this out for myself , Christina . Let's call this my own hell week . I have to come to terms with how I'm feeling and what that means for my past and my future . " She leans against me . " I'm here for you . If you need to talk . If you want silent company . If you need to yell .

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I'll be here for you , " she says , making me smile . " You've been paying attention in the Dealing with Crisis class , " I say . She shrugs . " It's what any good Alpha would do , offer support to someone who needs it . You've given me so much support already , Sebastian . Even today on the Beast , you made sure I didn't let the ice challenge stop me . There's no reason why I can't be a support to you too . Doing this .

being in the intimate positions that we are requires a lot of trust for both of us . Trust me that I won't hurt you . Trust me that I'll give you whatever space you need when you need it . Just be honest with me and let me know where you are with things . I don't need to pass this Academy , Sebastian . I'm not taking over a pack . I'm doing this for myself . So , if you and I being partners for the sex class is too much , well , I've already earned twenty points and that will be enough for me .

" I look at her , brushing her hair behind her shoulder . " At the risk of giving mixed signals , I'm not willing to stop being with you . I told you I wanted to see where this goes , and it's obviously taken a hard left turn for me . But , I'll figure it out . " I say , stroking my thumb over her cheek . " You need to focus on getting on that leaderboard , which you're already doing a great job of , and I need to figure out how to let the ghosts of my past go .

Once we both get through that , then I want to see where we end up . " " Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you ? " she asks . " Just be you . " I say , leaning in and pressing my lips to hers . It's a bit more than a friendship kiss , but I don't push it any further and neither does she . " Thank you for being honest with me , Sebastian . I'll leave you to your evening . Just let me know if there is anything that I can do to make this casier for you . " " I will .

By the way , how is your body feeling ? Will you be good for class tomorrow night ? "