Chapter 111 " It took a while for me to come to terms with it . Sylvie as well . In some ways , it felt like I was losing Aimee all over again , having to let go of that guilt . I guess you have to decide if Christina is worth it . It's not easy . For me , Sylvie was worth it . And I guess I was worth it for her too . " Thankfully , I didn't have too much time to dwell on it before Strength class and since I knew Christina had something planned , I was ready for the challenge .

I had wondered if she was going to switch to wolf form . As a female , she has an advantage in that form that males don't . Most she - wolves , especially Alphas , are much more agile than their male counterparts . It's part of what we train in our sparring when we go wolf to wolf . She - wolves can use their agility to their advantage to take out a larger , stronger male wolf . As usual , Christina didn't disappoint .

Other than making sure she didn ' t get in her head at the ice challenge , she rocked that Beast . All it did was reinforce the strength of my feelings for her . I haven't felt so proud of anyone since Ryan got first place on the leaderboard .. It was a good day all around with three of the six young Alphas .

defeating the beast and the instructor they challenged , since Ezra defeated Daniel after Christina defeated me , The rest of the day went by in a blur and before I knew it , it was dinner time . I've struggled with it all day , but I know it's only fair to give Christina the token for last night . She earned it . Hell , she deserves the whole fucking bag of them for that orgasm last night . I've broken her down , watched her fall apart for me , and then carefully put her back together .

But this time , she'd broken me down . 11 I'd felt shattered and vulnerable , and she'd held me while I pulled myself back together . THAT had never happened before . Suzanne had never made me feel so exposed , never made me explode so completely that all that was left was me , bare to the world . But that's exactly what Christina did and then she'd patiently helped me piece myself back together again . And that's where the guilt had come from .

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How could a woman that I've only known a couple of years strip me of everything so easily when my own mate never could . When I forced myself to think about the answer . I didn't like it . James is right , I need to decide if Christina is worth me giving up Suzanne all over again . Although somewhere deep down , I already know that she is . If she wasn't , my wolf wouldn't be trying to claim her .

I'm sure the others realize that I'm unusually quiet at dinner , but thankfully , no one says anything . Afterward , James stands and excitedly announces that he has some ten - point tokens to give out . We all clap as he gives Tyler and Christina two cach , one for defeating an Alpha on the Beast and one for them being first to complete in different forms .

Ezra earns his ten points for defeating Daniel and then another ten points when Charlotte announces that he gave her an orgasm through touch . Tyler earns another ten when Haley says he gave her an oral orgasm and then the others begin giving out individual tokens . When it's my turn , I hand out the ones that I have for others , saving Christina for last . I see her smile as I walk toward her . I hand her the first one easily .

" For the best competition I've had on the Beast in a very long time , " I say , watching her smile get bigger . Then I stare at the next one , fighting against myself and my guilt . " For the best orgasm of my life , " I say , finally handing her the coin . I watch her head tilt , and a small frown crease her brow , but I don't wait . 11 While the others are howling for Christina , I head back to my seat . seeing James watching me closely .

When all of the coins are given out , I stand to leave, feeling raw all over again . " Fifteen minutes , Sebastian ? " Christina asks , walking over . " Not tonight , Christina . Tonight's not a good night . We'll talk tomorrow , " I tell her , quickly making my escape . I'm feeling too raw with this guilt clawing at my insides . I get to my room and pour myself a bourbon , shooting the first glass down and then pouring a second , drinking it more slowly .

I'm not at all surprised when I hear the knock at my door . I sigh and open it for her . She's still dressed in the same clothes she was wearing at dinner .