# Chapter 18

Frederick's smirk widened at my silence, clearly enjoying my discomfort. "Cat got your tongue, Elise? That's not like the woman who used to chase after me relentlessly."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks. Based on what Gabrielle had told me, the old me had apparently been quite... persistent in my pursuit of men I was interested in. First Frederick, then Jonathan. The thought made me cringe internally.

"I'm not here to rehash the past," I said, trying to maintain some dignity. "I genuinely wanted to thank you for saving me that day. And..." I hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. "I wanted to ask you about something."

Frederick leaned back in his chair, studying me with those sharp eyes of his. "Go ahead. I'm all ears."

"What was I like before? With Jonathan, I mean." The question felt strange on my tongue, asking about my own life as if it belonged to someone else.

His expression shifted, the playful smirk fading into something more serious. "You really want to know?"

I nodded, steeling myself for whatever humiliating details he might share.

Frederick was quiet for a long moment, stirring his coffee absently. "You were... devoted. Completely and utterly devoted to him. It was honestly painful to watch sometimes."

"How so?"

"You rearranged your entire life around his schedule. Canceled plans with friends if he needed you. Stopped wearing colors he didn't like. Hell, you even changed your hair because he mentioned once that he preferred it shorter." Frederick shook his head. "The Elise I knew before Jonathan would never have done any of that."

I felt a hollow sensation in my stomach. "And what was I like before him?"

"Independent. Fierce. You had your own opinions about everything and weren't afraid to voice them. You were studying business because you wanted to run your own company someday, not because you wanted to understand your husband's work better."

The picture he painted felt so foreign to me. Had I really transformed that completely for one man?

"Why did you pursue me back then?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Frederick's smile returned, but it was gentler this time. "Because you were real. Authentic. You didn't put on airs or play games. When you liked something, you said so. When you didn't, you made that clear too." He paused. "Jonathan changed all that."

"Did he do it on purpose?"

"Hard to say. Maybe it started innocently enough—just preferences and suggestions. But over time..." Frederick shrugged. "You became someone else entirely. Someone who lived entirely for his approval."

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The more I learned about my past self, the more grateful I became for this strange amnesia. At least now I had a chance to be myself again, whoever that was.

"There's something else you should know," Frederick continued, his tone growing more serious. "About that day at the pool."

I straightened, paying closer attention.

"You didn't just fall in accidentally. You and Alicia were arguing about something near the edge. I couldn't hear what you were saying, but it looked heated. Then suddenly, you both went into the water."

"You think she pushed me?"

"I don't know for certain. But I found it odd that Jonathan immediately assumed you were the one who caused the trouble. He didn't even ask what happened before rushing to comfort her."

A bitter taste filled my mouth. Even when I was potentially the victim, Jonathan's first instinct had been to side with Alicia.

"Frederick," I said slowly, "do you think Jonathan ever really loved me?"

He was quiet for so long that I thought he might not answer. Finally, he met my eyes. "I think he loved the idea of having someone who adored him unconditionally. Whether that's the same thing as loving you... that's for you to decide."

Just then, my phone buzzed with a text message. I glanced down to see Jonathan's name on the screen: "Where are you? We need to talk."

Frederick must have noticed my expression change. "The husband checking up on you?"

"Something like that." I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. "I should probably head back soon."

"For what it's worth," Frederick said, reaching across the table to briefly touch my hand, "the person sitting across from me right now reminds me a lot more of the Elise I used to know. Maybe losing your memory wasn't entirely a bad thing."

His words stayed with me as I gathered my things. Maybe he was right. Maybe this amnesia was giving me a chance to rediscover who I really was, underneath all the changes I'd made for Jonathan.

"Frederick," I said as I stood to leave, "would you be willing to be my friend again? I know I hurt you before, but—"

"Elise," he interrupted with a genuine smile, "I never stopped being your friend. I was just waiting for you to remember who you were."

As I walked out of the coffee shop, I felt lighter somehow. I had answers now, and more importantly, I had hope that maybe I could build a life that was truly mine.

But first, I had to deal with whatever Jonathan wanted to "talk" about.